Who is the Wounded Child, and why is it so important to love her?The Wounded Child is one of the Child Archetypes as defined by Caroline Myss in her book Sacred Contracts. The Wounded Child is one that we can all relate to on one level or another, especially if we have grown up with abuse or trauma. The Wounded Child is the aspect who vividly remembers childhood abuse, neglect and trauma. She not only remembers it, but she deeply identifies with the pain of trauma so much that she feels as if she is still living it currently, even though she is now an adult and her abusers are gone. The shadow aspect of this child archetype is that she is stuck looping in the rage, sadness, fear and sense of injustice over things that happened long ago.
Until she becomes willing and able to forgive her parents and others who hurt her (including herself), she is essentially doomed to repeat the same patterns over and over in adulthood. What exactly does this look like? This means that she will project all of her daddy issues onto every man and her mommy issues onto every woman in her life and she will repeat the same painful patterns from childhood over and over again. She will likely find herself in relationships with people who, like her parents, do not respect her feelings, do not validate her, honor her, or fully love her for who she is, or abandon her altogether. One response to this will be to lash out in anger and push them away, only to pull them back in when her fear of being abandoned and without support kicks in again. She will compromise her own needs and feelings and will sacrifice what is best for her in order to please the other so as to not be left alone and without support. She will feel bogged down by anger, sadness, confusion, hopelessness, despair and anxiety. These same patterns will also deeply manifest within her own psyche, so that aspects of her personality will be in resistance to other aspects of her personality, causing painful splits and confusion within herself, thereby blocking her from access to her deeper self, where she could finally receive the love she has been seeking for so long. This pattern will continue in this format, rinse an repeat, ad infinitum, until or unless she does the work to break the cycle and move into empowerment and self-love.
What needs to happen to help the Wounded Child to heal this vicious cycle?
The primary work in healing the Wounded Child is to provide the love and compassion that she never received in childhood. While there are many steps to the process of transforming the Wounded Child, this one is the most important and the most powerful. As a result of the pain she suffered, she has built up powerful defenses to keep her safe from further pain and abuse, and may not trust love at all – even from her adult self, but when you continue to approach her with love and compassion, she gradually begins to relax and trust, and eventually to transform and blossom.
The work is to assist the child in her evolution from a consciousness based in fear and lack to one of love and abundance. Love is the antidote to all fear and limitation. Love has the ability to transform our biggest monsters – inner and outer, into beautiful angels if we are willing to dedicate ourselves to our own transformation. There is nothing that love cannot heal, including the Wounded Child. <3
Does this article resonate with you at all? Do you recognize the Wounded Child archetype within yourself? I would love your feedback on this article, or to get a conversation started. I deeply appreciate your taking the time to stop by and read my Blog. Much Love <3